Sainsbury's Go Green

Sainsbury's have outlined a plan to use plates in the car park which generate energy each time a customer drives over them.

"This is the first in a series of greener measures", said Dave Sponge, a spokesman for the store. "Future plans include a creche where we will put your screaming brats in giant wheels like ADHD crazed hamsters. That should be good enough to power Swindon for a week."

When pressed on the legality of using other people's energy, albeit potential energy, Mr Sponge went on the defensive.

"No one complains about Tesco having all those homeless people connected up to a virtual reality system in pods so they can use their BTUs to power the plasmas in the TV department. And don't get me started on what M&S use to make their food so nice."

At this point in the interview Mr Sponge was restrained by two men from the ASA and taken away shouting "It's not any old corpses...".